this is where ill post all the conversations that i have with MotoGP riders.

Me " So, Mr. Hopkins, how are you doing man?"

John "I'm a little blue about the race but other than that im fine "

Me "What part of the race are you most upset about?"

John "Well, there was the incident in qualifying and then the race didnt g-"

Me "Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Did you say incident?"

John "Uh, yes..."

Me "It looked to me like you torpedoed Carlos Checa and then tried to kick
him off his momo!"

John "Well, he shouldnt have slowed down like that... and whats a momo?"

Me "Its a motorcycle... And why wouldnt he slow down when he saw a
yellow flag?"

John "Well, I was right behind him and-"

Me "Oh yeah, I forgot about all the rear view mirrors on MotoGP bikes. He should have used them huh? Or he could have probably used the telepathy im sure he has..."

John "Thats not the point! If he wasnt in my way I could have-"

Me "Could have what? Won? No, you couldnt have, because youre crap. In fact, you will never win a MotoGP race. And how the h*** are you going to run into someone, someone who has had a much longer, much more glorious career than you have, and tell him he was in your way?"

John "Why wont I win a race?"

Me "First of all, youre crap. Second, Suzuki is your only hope, and you decided to leave them. Third, youre crap."

John "I'm not crap!"

Me "Oh yeah, your right, I forgot about your excessive winning streak and overall abundance of podium time."

John "You couldnt do it!"

Me "Yeah... Thats true... But then again, Im not a professional athlete. And I havent been riding since I was 6 years old."

John "If I was crap, why would I be on a MotoGP team?"

Me "Im actually trying to figure that one out."

John "I even got a contract with Kawasaki!"

Me "Why? when is the last time someone won on a Kawasaki? Why would you sign with them?"

John "Because they have more money than Suzuki does"

Me "Oh so its all about the money for you isnt it? Thats great sportsmanship, John. Now get the h*** out of here before I slap those ear rings off your head."


this actually didnt happen. but i ran through it in my head a couple times and it always ends up like this.

Me "Hey homie how ya feelin?"

Randy "My pride hurts, but thats about it..."

Me "Why is that?"

Randy "Because I crashed out of the race and hit Pedrosa too."

Me "Yeah man, that totally blows. Pedrosa could have done well."

Randy "Yeah we could have at least been on the podium together."

Me "Woah, woah, woah, hold on there cowboy! what do you mean we?"

Randy "I mean me and Dani. We could have done well..."

Me "HAHAHAHA you and Dani? Na homie, you would probably been in the dirt somewhere else."

Randy "What do you mean?"

Me "I mean that if you hadnt crashed on the first turn, you would have crashed somewhere else. Probably within the first lap."

Randy "How do you figure that?"

Me "Laws of probability my friend. There is about a 95% chance of you crashing out in any given race."

Randy "Wh-"

Me "Listen man, me and my friends at home have a pool on who you torpedo in every race."

Randy "Wh-"

Me "Shut up, im talking. This is how it works, we take whoever you qualify with on the same row, and give them 1 to 1 odds, then the rows in front and behind you get 2 to 1 odds, the next rows 4 to 1, and so on, multiplying the odds by 2 every row. And team mates are double points!"

Randy "H-"

Me "What did I tell you about talking when im talking?"

Randy "To not to..."

Me "Exactly, so stop it."

Randy "Ok..."

Me "So lets say you qualified on the 3rd row, which in reality would never happen, so enjoy this example while it lasts. You qualify 8th, between Shinya Nakano and Sylvain Guintoli. If i put $5 on Nakano, and you happen to run him over during the race, i win $5! Now lets say that Tony Elias qualified 5th, which would be right in front of you. Now, lets say I put $5 on Elias, and you happen to blindside him. Now that the odds are 2 to 1, I win $10! Do you see where I am going with this?"

Randy "Oui..."

Me "Good! I knew you werent as dumb as I assumed you were!"

Randy "Thanks... I guess."

Me "Listen Randy. I hate to end on a bad note, so Ill tell you a little secret!"

Randy "What is it?!"

Me "You need to stop wearing clothes."

Randy "What the hell?"

Me "Yeah, I dont know how, but girls think youre good looking. and at this point in your career, you need to be using every lead you have. Ok?"

Randy "Ok. Thanks Soopa."

Me "Im always here to help."



yeah... this is another one of those convos that didnt really happen. but if it did, thats how it would have gone.

LMAO

Soopa, you're hilarious

ill try and make you guys laugh whenever i can

Good job, isn`t it?
You`re making our lives longer, thanks!